Coffeeshop Smokey
Description section
Comments section


Description Top

Smokey
A big commercial coffeeshop in a prominent location on the Rembrandtplein.

19 5 13
Comments Top

El Maestro from Austria. Sent 3 Sep 2011.
Bit too touristy but a flashing place. The weed they had to offer didn't look good but it's a nice place to hang out.

Matt H from Canada. Sent 5 Jul 2009.
Bought some very lousy weed. Damp to make it weigh more. The atmosphere is all jocks and the staff is not friendly at all. Definitely a tourist trap. Stay away at all costs!

Enrico from Germany. Sent 18 May 2009.
Sell weed with not organic materials (perlite/perligran) and 1/10 leaves with the buds.

Dambuster from UK. Sent 2 Dec 2008.
We found this place by accident as we was looking for somewhere else and got lost. Glad we did though, a great place to chill even if it is a bit touristy. Comfortable seating and quite a few pool tables at the back, good assortment music and a great atmosphere with lots of different lights all around giving it a lively feel. I bought a pre rolled pure weed spliff for 10 euros and although it was a decent smoke I was a bit surprised at how small it was, there was more roach then spliff! They also do an amazing drink at the juice bar, I can only describe it as a mix between a fruit smoothie and a slush puppy, in a range of different flavours. I enjoyed my time at Coffeeshop Smokey and just to top it all of when we went outside onto Rembrandt Square it had started snowing which looked amazing at night with all the xmas lights up!

Stoner Association from UK. Sent 9 Nov 2007.
Very touristy, very loutish and very British. This place was great, one side's a bar and the other a coffeeshop. It was very lively.

Zack from Canada. Sent 11 Aug 2007.
Not a bad place, atmosphere-wise, with a nice big patio and fairly friendly staff. The weed was not great though and they don't weigh it out for you, their weed is all pre-packaged. I tried the White Widow, which wasn't horrible, but definitely not the strongest I've had. They do make excellent cappuccinos and fruit slushies! And they are very cool with people buying drinks and smoking their own stash which I did several times, largely in part to their awesome patio. 6/10

Grizz from Belgium. Sent 7 Jul 2007.
I don't like Smokey, it's like it's only there to get money from tourists. The price of drinks/weed is higher then most other places and the quality/service isn't really worth the trouble getting there.

Neil from UK. Visited Sep 05. Sent 16 May 2007.
Smokey is a misunderstood place. In fairness it's worth noting that this is one of the few coffeeshops where you can enjoy a pint of beer as well as a joint. Granted the hash menu is expensive, so we passed up and smoked our own, which the staff had no problem with. Had a game of pool, smoked a joint, drank a beer = happy days.

TKO from USA. Sent 27 Mar 2007.
Bought a bunk glass pipe from here that got too hot very quickly and some White Widow which was crumbly. Compared to White Widow we bought at other shops later in our vacation it was much less potent. Also intolerable Britney Spears played loudly. I wouldn't go again.

Dado. Sent 22 Dec 2006.
Telling the truth, this is the worst coffeeshop in Amsterdam where I've ever been. The security guard made me ill at ease. Actually my friend told me that I should check that place, but that was a huge mistake. Inside you can only find enormous prices. When you would like to borrow a bong or etc than you should give them your ID. There is no trust in you at all! It is so disappointing. Only the profit counts for them. I didn't like it at all! On a grade 1 to 10 I would give them 1.

Crosby from England. Sent 18 Nov 2006.
The first coffee shop we went to but not really by choice, a big security guard hollered us over and basically pushed us in saying "free entry" (no shit) when we sat down we were hurried to buy a drink and some smoke so I purchased a pre rolled White Widow which tasted rather weak. High prices and unhappy staff. The decor was grim with jet black walls and neon lights wherever you looked. I recommend that your time and money will be sadly wasted in here.

Dyna from Netherlands. Sent 19 Mar 2006.
Warning, don't let your money go to Smokey because they sell the weed in different bags and on another name but they have only one type of weed there and also the hash is one but sell in different bags and they cut it different but they have one type of weed and hash and the locals even don't think they buy it there. Now it because I work there for a time. The only thing they want is your money.

Ylis from Finland. Visited Sept 05. Sent 18 Mar 2006.
Smokey had a good range of different hash types from Morocco to India. They also had hash from Lebanon which was quite rare back then in Amsterdam. The weed selection was quite good too, and prices for hash and weed were reasonable. They were also selling headshop gear and bongs could be borrowed. They didn't have a vaporizer. The staff was friendly, but the Dutch guy selling hash and weed was completely spaced out all the time, so communicating with him was extremely hard :D I was never asked to buy any drinks, but as it is polite, I always did. They had a huge selection of juices which was nice. They also had a night club that opened on evenings at 10:00. I never visited the club because I'm not that much of a clubber myself, so I don't comment that place. Overall I can recommend Smokey to all friends of good and fresh hashish.

Bubbalicious and JP from Canada. Visited 18/04/05. Sent 22 Feb 2006.
Wheelchair Accessibility: Didn't go in because of gorilla guarding the door, but accessible.

Happy Chap from UK. Sent 5 Jan 2006.
Had a wander in here one evening, never again. Avoid this place! 5 euro for half of flat beer, you must buy a drink to enter. I didn't think you got rip off places like this any more. They only had one or two items that were on their menu-the good ones were all "out at the minute" there were a few people in there, but not as many as staff. They didn't seem to want us in there, just to give them our cash and leave. I've been a regular visitor to dam for several years now and this is the first time in years I've come across such a rip off joint.

Dave & Janine from UK. Visited 23/04/05. Sent 29 Apr 2005.
Quite busy for 10am! Bought some Polm which was ok.

Patrick from England. Sent 14 Apr 2005.
When you're in the popular tourist area of the Rembrandplein, please, please take great care to avoid Smokeys Coffeeshop. Unfortunately, my friends and I were short of our grinder and stash so popped in for a quick blaze after lunch. Big mistake! After walking past the bouncer, we bought a pre-rolled of Skunk (I know, but just wanted a quick smoke). Funny thing was, guy behind bar took one from mixed-weed box! We were then pestered into gettin a drink - this is compulsory, and to say: 'Im only repeating myself once more', was the fastest way to pissing us off. We quickly left this dark, ugly sespit of a coffeeshop for a real place- luckily found Abraxas. But when I lit the joint, it was all tobacco, they think every tourist is a freakin clown that don't know the difference! These are con artists for real. Avoid like the plague or be harassed by a couple pricks looking to rip you off. No respect or love for these jokers.

Eric and Chanda from USA. Sent 24 Feb 2005.
Really cool. Had a few pool tables and a good selection of weed, hash and pipes under a glass counter. The bouncer was very adamant about us taking our hats off while inside. Great place to watch the hustle and bustle of the square outside.

Matthew from England. Visited 14-18 Feb. Sent 22 Feb 2005.
People need to accept Smokey for what it is, a place to have a drink and a smoke and a very comfortable one it is too. Don't buy from there, go to Bushdoctor.

RT and NH from USA. Sent 21 Jan 2005.
Not so pleasant. Bought some smoke, none too impressed think it was White Widow 2 gram for 12 euro. They had plenty of pool tables but it seemed very touristy plus bouncers suck especially at 10:00 a.m. was a real dick about taking your hat off immediately like even before you stepped in the door.

Lisa and Sam from UK. Visited 30/12/04 - 03/01/05. Sent 4 Jan 2005.
My male friend was asked for ID and I was asked to remove my hat. Inside the people behind the hash bar were very quiet and did not make me feel comfortable to ask for advice. Bought a mix pre-rolled and stayed to smoke it. It gave very little effect if nothing at all. It was not somewhere I would recommend or visit again.

Jackislost from USA. Sent 6 Oct 2004.
It was sad to see the bad press Smokey is getting. I do not understand any of it. I spent 11 nights in Amsterdam in September 2004 and every single night I ended up at Smokey. Now it was not my favorite place, and I would not buy any weed or hash from them as it is expensive and not as fresh as other places, but there are two things here that need to be addressed:
First - Smokey is a bar, not a coffeeshop per se. It focuses on and around the bar. They are the most tolerant bar in the Dam in terms of allowing smoking (and selling as well) - Yes they have a bouncer, but the most he ever said to me was, "Hey Mate!" and smiled his bald head off. They are also packed! Amsterdam is one of the most populated cities in the world! I would buy a Heineken and stand waiting for a chair anywhere in the place, so it is good that they clear tables quickly. I saw locals and tourists alike welcomed there. I even found the owners of the guesthouse I stayed at hanging out there. Not locals? Please. Maybe not locals who are deadbeat just looking for a place to get high and not contributing anything positive, which brings me to point #2:
Second - All coffeeshops including Smokey are businesses that are there to make money. The people working there are not there for fun, they are working. It is annoying to see people think that they can just walk in and toke up anywhere without buying anything. It is rude and thoughtless. Buy something, an energy drink (AA is good!), a coffee, or at Smokey a beer! You can't just stumble into a shop and give them nothing and get high and expect to be treated well. Please! I promise that if you get into the habit of buying something (water is good too!) at each shop, you will find a totally different attitude from the shopkeepers.
Smokey is a real nice bar that is open until 1, 3am on Fri and Sat. Treat it like a pub back home that lets you get high and it will make a lot more sense. - Also - if you don't act like an ass the bouncer is just there for your protection. Yeah, what is going to happen right? Nothing because this meathead is sitting there keeping the pickpockets and lowlifes out of your life.

Sebazz from France. Sent 13 Aug 2004.
This "coffee-shop" is a real shame. Last time I went to A'dam, I sat there with a friend and that was horrible. Bouncers (what!) asked us if we were English (??), and we he let us enter in this stinky tourist trap only after we assured him that we were French (is anyone can explain me this way to make business?) After that we were commercially harassed by a staff member: "you have to drink to stay, blablabla" OK son. We didn't buy anything, we smoked a Bluebird's stuff, get no drink, and left this place to get our high in a terrace of a Rembrandtplein's bar with a fresh beer. Don't give your money to these robbers (there is more than ever) and if you're new ask Dutch people if you want to chill in a cool place.

Carlos from UK. Sent 22 Jul 2004.
Read a lot of negative things about the place, but we found it a good place to chill and play pool. Plenty of pool tables and good drinks. The no hat policy is a bit odd as is the bouncer on the door but everyone is pleasant enough and the barman was happy to lend us a bong.

Kane and Hannah from UK. Sent 25 Jun 2004.
Ah, this place isn't all that bad really. The bouncer recognised us every time after our first visit there. All the weed and hash was €12, which did seem steep, but the Orange Bud was pretty nice. Shame about the Thai, though.

Arnoud from Netherlands. Visited 30-04-2003. Sent 3 May 2004.
Just to comment on those guys who asked why there is a bouncer at the entrance: Last year at Queen's Day I was there with a friend of mine, and we wanted to buy some weed. At the door stood not one but even TWO bouncers, who very unpolitely refused us to go in. They told us that "only tourists were allowed". Since then I never went there again, so I don't know whether this is a permanent rule or only for busy days. Why they don't let in local people I don't know, maybe because locals are harder to rip off ? The place looks too commercial for me to visit again and find out.

Will and mates from UK. Visited 4-7 Feb 04. Sent 15 Feb 2004.
Good pool tables here, but not allowed to wear hats or caps as reminded by bouncer on the door. A nice selection of smokes and beers available.

Stuart and David from UK. Visited Aug 03. Sent 6 Feb 2004.
Good selection of smoke was on offer and sampled a bag of Northern Lights which was pretty nice. Didn't spend a lot of time in here as we had much to see and other dens to visit. Seemed a bit on the commercial side but the smoke, beer and staff were cool (especially the dealer).

Natasha from UK. Sent 20 Jan 2004.
Want to drink and smoke, this is the place. Nice hash menu with Red Seal for sale here and nowhere else.

Kevin from USA. Sent 19 Sep 2003.
Smokey's is definitely touristy, and they do have a bouncer for what I'm not sure. But it was OK to sit and puff a few and have a game of pool and sit and talk a bit and relax. Prices were reasonable, pot was just as good as anywhere else. Actually the staff were a bit nicer than a few places I happened into, even the bouncer was cool. They allowed pictures to be taken and as a matter of fact the whole bar was filled with just Americans except the workers, about 10 of us who just met that day and we all enjoyed a smokefest, had about 4 different types of pot going at the same time. Needless to say the local pastry shop was hit and the bed was slept in....LOL.......its OK.

Speedy and Hughie from Ireland. Sent 1 Jul 2003.
This was the first place we went on our recent visit to 'The Dam' as it was closest to our hotel and we ended up spending most of our three days in there. We were well impressed to say the least. We started off with some 'Super Polm' which was nice and mellow and good value at €12. We progressed right up to 'Temple Ball' and WOW did that stuff kick. A smaller deal, obviously, but still good value. Found the staff friendly and very helpful, including the bouncers. Not sure about the 'No Caps Rule' but didn't argue. Definitely going back there, the sooner the better!

Mary from Canada. Sent 14 Jun 2003.
We went here only because we happened to be in Rembrantplein and wanted a place to sit down and have a smoke. This one was a horror show. This place has all the ambience of a cheesey tourist bar, and none at all of an Amsterdam coffeeshop. Let's start with the thuggish bouncer; yes, you heard right, a BOUNCER at a coffeeshop (reminds you of a bar). There were no filters available and if you wanted so much as a rolling paper, you had to buy the whole pack. Not only that, but if you needed a light, there were tacky shit lighters for sale (just for comparison, the guy at Tweede Kamer gave us one when we needed a light). The reviewer who noted the overly-conscientious barman was right on. These people clear the tables so fast, it makes you wonder if you've just sat down in a truckstop on the trans-canada somewhere. Not a pleasant experience and we won't be going back there.

Alex and Micky from UK. Sent 1 Jun 2003.
This was our closest place to our hotel and we went there as soon as we checked in. I got a mixed joint (not very nice), Micky got a 2grm bag (all 12eruos cheapest we found) but all very nice. We made a joint and got a lend of a bong from behind the bar before going exploring. We spent most of our 2 days there as it is a very nice place. Staff were all great as they would tell you anything you wanted to know about the 'Dam and if you were too stoned they would bring your drinks over to you (only thing I didn't like about the staff was as soon as they seen your drink was empty they would be over asking what you want to drink). All different kinds of people get in here but it has a good atmosphere especially when it get late on. We would recommend this place and are all ready planning our next trip.

Claire and Louise from UK. Sent 3 Oct 2002.
The best coffee shop in Amsterdam and believe me we went to a lot. The staff were great, the skunk was nice and the loos were clean, I would recommend this to the whole world.

Clare from UK.
We were a group of six got are smoke from the barman (or what ever they are called) sat down at one of the 4 seated tables as the were no others free, when a table came free, we went to move, too cut a long story short, the barman rushed over to our table as we were moving. Then a piece of our just bought stuff had gone, no one had left the shop, or anybody except the barman. We kept an eye on the barman as he was working and all 6 of us noticed that as soon as someone was moving he'd go quickly to the table.
When we were in there, the bouncers had grapped a women and physically thown her out. We left there after we'd finished or drinks quickly.

Jon from UK. Sent 21 Aug 2001.
Much like La Canna in style and content. The first floor was pretty packed but the bar on the top level was a little gem, not too crowded, very friendly bar staff and a good ambience. The only downside the floor around the pool tables was very uneven! I tried Northern Lights which was potent but not great.

Professor Horsecollar from USA. Sent 2 Apr 2001.
This is a pseudo-classy joint, I mean that in a good way, because it caters to guests of the several somewhat pricey hotels on the square. I had a couple beers there and fired up. I looked at their menu, but wasn't buying so I forget really what was on it. I know that their accessories selection is good and much more reasonably priced than in the Centrum area. The mid-range plastic bong that I had wanted that was DF45 at Kokopelli was only DF30 at Smokey's. And it's a much more comfortable place to hang than Dampkring or Greenhouse. I was overall favorably impressed. You really need to include Smokey's in your directory.

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